Anorexia Recovery & Treatment

i am in (forced) recovery from anorexia and am hating this so much. i am now 111lbs at 5′8. i know it doesn’t sound too bad but i look disguisting, and it is sickening to think that i weighed 82lbs only 3 months ago. they want me to be 130! i’ve never been over 105. my shoulders/arms used to hang in a square shape, now there is this disguisting curve where fat has accumulated in my shoulder and upper arm. if i gain much more my thighs will touch. my hipbones are disappearing. all my clothes were a baggy size double zero now my whole wardrobe is too small, i now can squeeze into a uk size 6 and am too embarrassed to buy clothes so big. the boyfriend says i am still thin but i know he is only lying to make me feel better, i don’t deserve him, he doesn’t deserve a fat girlfriend. i am trying to eat as little as possible but i am on a meal plan and am forced by my mum to have breakfast and dinner.